"Come along children .... that was very good! You all stuck together and did very well crossing that busy thoroughfare. The main lesson for today is to learn to tread carefully, whether it's in the water or on a busy roadway. You just never know when you'll be caught off guard by some unexpected obstacle suddenly appearing out of nowhere directly in your path."
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"Take this storm drain for instance .... See how I'm waddling over it? .... Everybody pay attention! .... Let's tiptoe gingerly across, and remember that we must always be flexible in mind, body and spirit! I know it's time-consuming and very, very boring - but learning this lesson will help you to navigate any difficult path you ever encounter! .... We need to be careful where we put our little webbed feet! .... One little misstep could mean falling through some crack in life itself and spending what's left of your time on earth 'quack-quacking' about how you fell through the crack in the first place - or who it was that deliberately pushed you. The cracks in life are found everywhere .... They're virtually all the same! .... You must learn to recognize them and then to deal with them .... and right now is a better time to learn than waiting until some time in the next week or tow! .... Here We Go, everybody!!"
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Oh, Crap!! .... Now look what you've done!! .... I told you what would happen if you weren't relentlessly vigilante! .... But did you listen? .... No way! .... You were too busy plucking the tail feathers out of your brother's backside! .... I told you before that you would have a tough time selling those things on Ebay! .... What do you mean life's not fair? .... Whoever said that? .... This is not the best time to be wishing that you had taken my lessons a little more seriously .... No, I can't come down there and save you .... And, now that you're good and stuck, you might as well try to prepare yourselves for a safe trip when they finally get around to flushing this damn' thing! .... No, I don't have any idea where it goes .... Send a postcard if you get a chance! ....
Come along, those of you who were paying attention, there are several more important lessons to learn today .... Now that you've seen how easily you can find yourself in a potentially unpleasant circumstance in life .... I kindly suggest that you pay even more close attention from here on out .... Or you could fall through some crack in life and find yourself in a bit of a quagmire, too! .... OK?
